don't look at me...I voted for Kodos.

 
God said to Noah "There's gonna be a flood-y flood-y..."

So here I am. It's 11:31am on Wednesday morning, and a mere 10 days until the wedding. I'm marrying the man of my dreams, by-the-way.

There is SO much to do to get ready for this hoot-nanny that my head just might explode. So I suppose it's a good thing that I will be seeing a nuerologist this Friday. I wish I could just concentrate on the wedding, but I am so scared shitless about the doctor appointment that I can barely function. I been having frequent headaches. By frequent I mean all day...every day...since the end of May. That's 3 months to you and me. The pain isn't debilitating or crushing, but rather a nagging constant. Is it stress, is it migraines, is it a massive brain tumor? Only your nuerologist knows for sure *wink*!

I Was finally sent for an MRI by the nurse practitioner in my medical group. My primary doc (who is a nice guy, bless his heart) really didn't give much thought to the headaches and kind of dismissed them as stress/anxiety related. Well by the 3rd visit to the office, his nurse practitioner finally said "how bout we get you an MRI?" GREAT! Scared the bejesus out of me!

I have had MRI's before. I'm not claustrophobic but I can see how one might be troubled by the process. I found it rather relaxing. I also had my eyes closed.

Well, EVERYONE had been telling me not to worry...that the test would show that the headaches were nothing...well dammit if the MRI didn't turn up SOMETHING!

Abby someone...

Yes I have an "abnormality". It's apparently not a solid mass or a lesion or even anything sinister or suspicious. The tech who read the films called it "an area of change in the white matter of the front right side of her brain, 1-2mm in size consistent with a previous history of migraines".

Ooooooooh. How did HE know I had migraines as a kid? I never TOLD them that! So maybe the abnormality isn't unusual for those who have had migraines (even though it was 20 years ago). However, the nurse practitioner would like me follow up with a nuero anyway. I am freaked though that there IS something sinister and the nuero will find it.

Sigh...I'm a basket case.

Back to the wedding. Uncle Bob and Aunt Charlotte, Todd, Amy and Ryan are boycotting the affair. It's a long story but suffice to say it got ugly. I'm pretty down about it. Never thought the family would disintegrate like this. I feel like they are blaming me for the rift, and maybe I deserve some of the blame. Afterall it is MY wedding.

We have about 92 guests coming and wonder of wonders, I actually know about 85 of them. A few are Kris's mom's friends and a few are his relatives who I have never met. The rest are all near and dear friends and family. Janky, Milhouse and Kimya will be in attendance. The horses, sadly, will not. I'm concernced they might stampede the guests.

It promises to be a day of fun and frivolity. I hope nobody goes postal.

I also hope my brain is all right.
posted by Marissa at 8:27 AM

 
Testing...testing...

Ok so I cheated. I erased 3 years worth of old blogs because some things were said that might cause others serious emotional harm. Besides...I didn't really MEAN any of it.

I'm ok. How are you?
posted by Marissa at 7:54 PM